Red vs Blue, Containment
by SamusX10
Summary: Same characters, new bases. Rated T simply because it's rvb... well, you probably know what to expect. Chapter four's done after three years.
1. Running time

Red vs. Blue, Containment

After playing a few rounds of Halo 2's containment, I got the idea to stick the characters of Red versus Blue in a new base… Anyway, the story takes place near the end of season three. I've got the same idiots, different boxed canyon. Enjoy!

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Caboose was amusing himself on the gun turret at blue base. It had been a while since he had last had a good play time, so he had asked Church if he could play with the "purple birdie" near the turret… needless to say, it hadn't lasted long. Caboose had hit several land mines, and much like Sheila, Bob (the Banshee) was swiftly destroyed. So Caboose was forced to seek new amusement

"Hmm… if nap time comes before play time… flashy light time should be…"

Caboose's already slow thought pattern was interrupted by gunfire. He looked out to see Tucker, and Church running towards the base…

'It must be running time…' Caboose thought to himself, and quickly got off the turret, running into the base.

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Meanwhile, Church and Tucker had reached the gate's lock. Church took up a position looking outside the small shelter and aimed his sniper rifle. Tucker, meanwhile, was struggling with the gate controls.

"Come on man! It's not that hard!" Church yelled.

"Gimme a break! It's not my fault! How was I supposed to know the pink dude wasn't a hot chick?" Tucker shouted back at his teammate.

"What IS it with you and trying to picking up women?" Church demanded "If Caboose hadn't blown up the Banshee, you probably would have tried to pick up chicks with that too!"

Tucker stopped and turned to Church.

"… I might have." He answered with a hopeful tone.

"Still, I gotta admit. Way to traumatize the other team there Tucker. Good job there man." Church said laughing.

"…This gets out to no-one, got it?" Tucker asked as he finally got the gate opened.

"Dude, I'm as embarrassed as you are…" Church said as they ran to the base.

Church turned to see the warthog fly over the ridge separating the two sides. He fired two poorly aimed shots (both of which missed) and continued running behind Tucker.

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Simmons aimed the gun turret on the warthog as Sarge drove the warthog towards the blue base. Grif had been left behind to try to calm down a very scared Donut. Simmons opened fire on the retreating blues. They were only meters away from the base.

"Stop trying to hit those bastards and just hit them already!" Sarge yelled.

"Yes, sir. Sorry, sir, I thought it would be a good idea to taunt them a bit before taking them down." Simmons answered.

"You're not here to think! You're here to follow orders… more specifically my orders. Got it?"

"Yes, sir!"

"Now kill those hormonally charged emus!" Sarge yelled.

At that, Simmons stopped firing and turned to Sarge.

"Those what?" Simmons asked.

"… What? You got another animal you wanna suggest?" Sarge demanded, stopping the jeep.

"Well, how about rabbit sir?" Simmons suggested.

"The hell's a rabbit, son?" The confused Sarge asked.

"A small furry mammal native to Earth, sir." Simmons answered.

"What the hell is it with you people and making up animals? Do you want me to get out my list of mystical creatures again?" Sarge asked him.

"Never mind sir. Emu is fine." Simmons sighed as he took aim and fired again at the blues as they entered their base.

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Sweet, first chapter's done! Hope you enjoyed it! Please R&R. I should be updating soon. Just leave a few comments


	2. Team Killing and Donut

Chapter 2

Team killing and Donut

A/N: Okay, respond to reviewers' time

Diamond studded radish: Yeah, I sorta remembered the disclaimer immediately after posting it. Caboose is easy to make funny, so expect more of him .

Tom T. Thomson: Oh, you'll find out eventually…

Anyway, I do not own the rights to Halo, or Red vs. Blue… If I did I would probably be somewhere famous right now… But I am not v.v. Enjoy

Church and Tucker ran onto the upper level of Blue Base. Tucker took position at the gun turret, and Church pulled out his sniper rifle. The warthog was only just coming around the small shelter. Tucker quickly opened fire on the mine nearest the jeep… the mine exploded, and the warthog went with it.

"Nice shot there tucker!" Church exclaimed.

"… I was aiming for the jeep…" He muttered to himself.

"What was that?" Church made his way over to Tucker as the green soldier got off the turret.

"What do you mean "Nice shot"? Of course it was a nice shot! I was voted "Most likely to kill everyone with a sniper rifle" back during basic! Come on man! Gimme some credit here!" Tucker said as he turned back to the field.

"Huh… yeah, right dude." Church said dismissively.

"Well, that worked" Tucker said, looking out to the burning wreckage of the warthog, "Think they survived?"

"Tucker, they're reds. They ALWAYS survive. They survived Caboose in a tank, something that proved miraculously fatal to me. They survived the robot army Lopez made for O'Mally. They always survive!" Church was practically yelling.

"… You're still pissed off that caboose killed you with the tank, aren't you?" Tucker asked.

"… Forget it man." Church waved a dismissive hand at him and began walking into the base, only to find Caboose running into a wall.

"I'm not gonna ask…" Church sighed wearily.

"Church! I am so happy that you are here for running time!" Caboose exclaimed, still running into the wall.

"Caboose… Don't bother me right now." Church was obviously tired, and a massive headache was now building up inside his cobalt helmet.

"But Church… running time…" Caboose whimpered

"Caboose, stop it!" Said a now very annoyed Church

"But Chu-"

Caboose didn't get a chance to protest, because at that very moment, Church ran up to Caboose, and hit him in the back of his head with the sniper rifle. Caboose fell to the ground, and didn't move.

Tucker was speechless. Church was happier. Somewhere far away, a crowd was cheering.

"You… you killed- You killed Caboose you team killing fucktard!" Tucker stammered.

"And I'd do it again too, now come on, we gotta radio command and let them know we need a new recruit. Apparently those red bastards took out the rookie." Church said very matter-of-factly.

Not wanting another TKIA on their record, Tucker followed Church.

Back at the wreckage of the warthog, Simmons and Sarge were both staring back at the wreckage of the warthog.

"How could you not see it! It was right there in front of you!" Simmons protested.

"Very easily Simmons. I was distracted by the magic fairies and pixies coming out of your mouth!" Sarge retorted.

"Dear lord, not this again…" Simmons sighed.

Back at the Blue Base, Caboose slowly got to his feet…

"Oww… my head… What just happened here? ...Here? Where IS here anyway?" He looked around, checking his surroundings.

Putting one hand to his helmet, he activated his headset and radioed command. Static overtook his ears, but was quickly replaced by Vic's voice.

"Hello? Hello. This is Vic, do you read? Hello!" The commander asked

"This is Private Michael J. Caboose requesting… uhh… information concerning my current whereabouts" Caboose said in a calm mannered voice.

"Michael J. Caboose… yeah, blue team… got your record here. File says you're supposed to be stationed at Freeze Station Three… So, dude, is that where you're stationed?" Vic asked.

"If the name is any indication of the description, then yes. Michael J. Caboose out."

"Alright dude, well I-"Caboose turned off his headset, uninterested in hearing more of that man's annoying chatter.

"Well, I guess I'm blue now. Time to meet my team." Caboose walked into the base, where he was greeted by several shrieks, a "Son of a bitch" and numerous gunshots.

"Come on… it wasn't that bad… He didn't mean it…" Grif had his hand on Donut's back and was calmly consoling him.

"It… it was horrible… He… he just wouldn't stop…" Donut explained.

"Yeah, those blue cockbites'll pay for this. Anyway, stop what Donut? What'd he do?" Grif asked the pink marine.

"He… he…" Donut stammered.

"Yeah? He what?" Grif persisted.

"He… he was flirting with me… he wouldn't stop… and there was something about a tank in there that I didn't quite get… but I was scared Grif… I'd never been so scared in my life." Donut explained.

"… those fucking assholes" Grif cursed.

Alright, second chapter done. Again, please R&R


	3. Look over there!

Chapter Three

Look over there!

A/N: Wow, I didn't expect to see so many reviews within the first week. Thanks everyone

ZealousReformer: You don't know the half of how fun this'll get

Anyway, I don't own Red vs. Blue… unless you count the DVD set, in which case I do, and you should all worship me.

Caboose sidestepped to avoid the poorly aimed sniper rifle shots, sent off by Church. Caboose them took out his own rifle, shot their weapons out of their hands, and aimed his sniper rifle directly at Church's helmet.

"Caboose… calm down… he didn't mean it dude, don't kill us man!" A very afraid Tucker advised.

"Calm down Caboose… its okay, you can have running time… and play time if you want! Hey, I'll even join you, won't we Tucker?" Church said convincingly

"Keep me outta this, you're the one who pissed off the zombie, not me." Tucker took a step back.

"I have no idea who you people are, but I swear, you'd better not have killed the real blues that were stationed here." Caboose warned

"... umm… what if we told you we ARE the blue stationed here, and we have a perfect explanation for all this?" Tucker asked

"… then I'd probably-"Caboose was interrupted by Tex's arrival.

"Alright, the reds are gone. Good job there Tucker, using the mine to destroy the jeep… wow." Tex complimented as she walked in from behind Caboose.

"Tex!" both Tucker and Church yelled in unison.

"Hey everybody… Caboose… why is there blood on the b-"Tex was interrupted when Caboose shot her weapon out of her hand and knocked her out.

"Calm down Caboose… it's alright… Hey! Look, Caboose, a distraction!" Church yelled as he point behind Caboose to nothing in particular.

"Where?" Caboose turned, looking in the direction that Church had indicated.

"Wow… that worked…" Church said to himself "Run for it!"

The two blues leaped over the ledge while Caboose was still distracted and began running for the red base as fast as they could.

Simmons and Sarge were only just at the half way point between the bases when they heard several gunshots, and a scream. They turned to see two blues running towards them, followed by another blue soldier firing on the two as they ran.

"Son, I never thought I'd see the day when they finally went insane. Tortured by their own blue madness to the brink of insanity. Those poor bastards. I just wish I'd had the chance to finish them off myself." Sarge commented.

"Uh, sir, they're not dead yet. If you still wanna get a few rounds in be my guest" Simmons pointed out.

"No, Simmons. It's too late now. They're far too crazed to be affected by bullets now. The only way to kill them now is to immediately pull out, an let them waste away in a pool of their own blue blood."

"… No they're not!" Simmons yelled.

"Say what?" Sarge protested.

"They're not immune to bullets sir." Simmons explained.

"Of course they are! It's all part of their evil blue powers!" Sarge yelled

"…" Simmons fired a bullet at the closest blue soldier.

"Son of a bitch! You hit my foot! You bastard! I'll kill you!" Shouted the cobalt soldier.

"See?" Simmons demonstrated.

"Though crudely presented I see your point, Simmons. Very well. You stay here and hold them off. I'll bring out Grif to hold them off while Donut and I escape unharmed. We'll come back for you once we've ascertained that the blues are dead." Sarge ordered.

"Yes, sir!" Simmons yelled, snapping to attention.

Sarge ran off, not once looking back at Simmons. Once the maroon soldier was certain that Sarge was out of earshot, he grumbled to himself.

"I'd better get a damned medal for all this ass kissing…" He muttered to himself.

Well, third chapter done. Hope you enjoyed it. Sorry about the delay. I should be able to get the next one up sooner. Probably by next Monday at the latest. Stay tuned.


	4. The thing with the tank

**Chapter 4**

**A/N; **So 'next monday' turned into 'three years'. So sue me.

* * *

Tucker helped the limping Church as they ran for the caves.

"How did Caboose come back to life like that?" Church yelled.

"Are you sure he was even dead in the first place?" Tucker asked

"Pff, hell no! You think I cared? It's Caboose. I assumed that the reason he wasn't pissing me off anymore was because he was dead, not because he was unconscious. I'm gonna go with the idea that you fucked up this one dude" Tucker took Church into the nearest passageway and unwound his arm to let Church rest.

"Well whatever happened, he may not remember us, but he's still dumb as a rock, so I'm gonna go with the idea it's some form of amnesia." Church sighed out as he checked his suit's life support.

"That dumb rock killed you with a tank, remember? He's worse than Tex!" Tucker checked over his ammunition before peering out of the cave.

"Oh man, _if only. _When Tex wants to kill you, she gets it done fast. You know, I guess I should be grateful though, this bullet in my foot is the first time I've been hurt by someone that isn't supposed to be on my own goddamn team."

"At least I did what you guys hired me to do. You whimps can't even hold out for two days without me." Tex turned off her camo and kneeled next to Church's foot. "Can you feel it?"

"I don't know..." Church grimmaced.

Tex fired a second bullet into his foot.

"How about now?"

"Goddamnit woman! Fuck!"

"That's a yes." Tex turned to Tucker "I swear, you two are hopeless. _We'll be fine, Tex. We can handle you being gone for just a couple days. _I come back and what do I find? You've been getting flirtsome with mrs. pinky, and the other reds have got you hiding in a cave."

"Hey, at least we blew up their Tank." Tucker protested.

"Right, because Ivan was a load of trouble for you guys. He was pointed at their base the entire time _with his pedals jammed_. Did it not occur to you someone else might have set that up 'before' you went banshee-happy on him? Do you have any idea how long that took me to set up?"

"Caboose did it." Church muttered.

"What?" Tex wheeled on him.

"Yeah, Caboose wanted to blow up ol' Ivan. Something about him getting in-between him and Sheela. Isn't that right Tucker?" Church asked.

"Right, yeah, you know how Caboose is when it comes to his women... tank... things."

Tex turned her camo back on and was out of the cave without another word.

"So how long until she figures out it wasn't Caboose?" Tucker considered.

"Not long enough. We need to get out asses out of here."


End file.
